Bret Banta came all the way out from Texas to attend Cal Arts. He drove the entire fifteen hundred miles with a T.V. on his lap. Only to find out when he arrived that the dorms had no cable… or dorms, ’cause it’s F#*king Cal Arts! Bret’s a lot like a P.O.W. He’s emaciated, doesn’t brush his teeth and loves crying out for help. Bret would do anything for his twin brother. He would take a bullet for him. He also has a half brother. He would take a bullet for him too, but only from the waist down. He has been sober for 4 years and is hating every minute of it. He is scared of flying, crossword puzzles, needles, math tutors and heights.